piece of work.

I said HEY.......what's goin' on?

I read a lot of blogs(probably too many but that's a whole other bag of worms) and it seems that a lot of blogs that I have been reading for years are going bye-bye. Why is this? Does anybody have any theories? Could it be just because it's summer and maybe they will actually start back up in the fall, despite the fact that they have stated otherwise? I have a theory....
I think yes, it is a combination of the season and the hustle and bustle that comes along with it, but I also think it could be other things too. I think for a fair number of bloggers, it's just not worth it anymore, they have gotten to the point of sheer exhaustion trying to keep up with it day after day, week after week. I can see how this would be a common feeling, it can be hard to keep a blog going. I have been there.....often. But also, I have seen a drift toward more meaningful blogging.....as if to say(like I did) if this is MY blog, why am I not blogging about MY life, why am I blogging about all the stuff I find on the internet? I love blogging about cool inspirations and fun or meaningful things I find online, but I found myself doing a "look what I found online" post MORE AND MORE, instead of blogging about things more meaningful, just because I was lazy or just didn't want to get into it. Don't get me wrong I love design blogs and they totally have specific purpose. They are blogs exclusively dedicated to that, DESIGN.

Are we as bloggers, and blog stalkers getting bored with what's out there? I think maybe......I know I am a little less inclined to blog surf lately because I just don't see anything different. I don't see anything that really inspires me, makes me excited for more......you know? Or maybe that's just me......link me up if you disagree, show me the error of my ways, PLEASE.......I need to know that blogging is not losing it's appeal! Okay that was a little dramatic, but SERIOUSLY..what's going on?

the way we get by

If it isn't one thing, it's another.......if it wasn't this it would be something else.......take it one day at a time...........it could be worse......we are never given more than we can handle.......

.....these are all fine and good temporary persuasions, but they DO NOT help!!!! I have said it before and I will say it again, I am a pessimist. I'm not going to claim I was born that way, I'm not that neurotic, I have learned to be this way. I do think that there is something consoling in the preparing for the worst, hoping for the best theory. Am I really committed to that theory? NO..secretly I am never even hoping for the best, just hoping to NOT be gut wrenched or   side-swiped, that's all.

But lately, I just can't seem to get on top....to get back to my daily BORING, no drama routines. Life has another plan for me, for US, it seems, unremitting drama and comic relief are on the agenda......I guess if nothing else we have consistency. Someone up there must be bored.

With all that is seemingly unjust, untimely and just plain amiss in my life right now, I am, at the end of the day more of a romantic than a cynic. I DO believe things will always get better. I DO believe in happy endings, so I'm sure you now understand more of my inner struggle, LOL....I can NEVER be one or the other, there are ALWAYS two sides of every story for me. Fundamentally, I'd LOVE to believe that everything fit in the black box, or the white box.....but really I have come to understand there is much more than that, much more than gray even. I live my life in color, messy spattered color, but I have to throw in black and white every now and again to appreciate the cornucopia of the color.

Even with all the drama.......everyday, I have been endued the ability to turn it all around.

date night

J and I had our first date night in a while, last night. With all the moving and my back, and now a puppy.....well, we just haven't been able to squeeze in the time. I will NOT neglect us anymore, we deserve to go out together, on a date and have FUN. That's what it was.....so much fun. We did in fact get to the movie , which I loved. I have to say though, it was QUITE violent, but I felt like the point would not have been as strong had the violence not been there.....but I digress. After the movie, we went to the book store. We love going to the book store, a good night out for us is sipping on our Starbuck's perusing the book isles. I always find myself getting both excited and at times,  a little frustrated when I am at the bookstore. There is so much to look at, and then I feel like there is SO much that I just don't know.

I was stuck in the music section for quite a wile, sight seeing a bit through the biographies of Wilco, The Who, The Doors, Bob Marley, BB King...and the list goes on and on.

I am fascinated by the lives of musicians, their unconscious process of thought and creativity. I feel like I could have been a musician in a past life, and maybe still in this one, who knows...I could read for days and days about their studios and how they come up with song riffs and lyrics, it totally transfixes me.

At the end of the night, it was actually really cool, the place  we went to was a huge shopping center in the this new area of town. They were having the beginning of the week long 4th celebration and there were fireworks, it was like our own little date night celebration, SO fun!!

a week's end.

MAN..........this week has felt like a LONG one to me, anybody else!?!?! Maybe it's because I am sleep deprived or just cause it's been so dang hot and I keep praying for the night to come faster and faster everyday, lol.

I am planning on actually getting some creating done this weekend and maybe even get to see a movie. Mom has offered to babysit, and I shall take her up on it. I think we are gonna go see  M Night Shyamalan's The Happening  , .....we are both suckers for suspenseful scary movies, and this is the first R rated movie he has ever done, so that should be interesting to see what that's all about.

I am going to start Roo on agility training, like this. ACD(Australian Cattle Dogs) are suppose to be super smart at this kind of training or any other training for that matter. She already knows how to fetch and come, and knows here name very well, plus she has learned how to sit nicely before getting her treats.......ALL in not even two weeks, she is such a smart girl. The best thing, she knows when I say "Excuse me!!" or "What are you doing?" to stop whatever she is doing cuz it's bad. It's so cute she just stops.......looks me right in the eyes and trots away from whatever she WASN'T suppose to be doing.

I told you I would turn this into a Roo blog, HA!!! You thought I was joking!??!

lately.

Lately I've been thinking about.......

relationships, how everyone that I know fits in a little compartment just for them, each person has a personality or a view point that I need, maybe not everyday......but definitely NEED.

music, how much I freaking HATE it when a song that I adore ends up on Grey's Anatomy or on an iphone, itunes commercial and then it ends up getting SO over played that I now HATE IT.........man that sucks!!!

photography, I am enjoying this creative part of my life SO much right now. I am putting together my portfolio for my small photography business, just something on the side and it makes me so excited. I have a engagement shoot coming up, with my brother and his beautiful fiancé. I am so honored to share this with them, it will be so much fun.

crafting for me, I love crafting for me, just doing things for my house or gifts. Just doing it for the love of the craft itself, not for an online gallery or some kind of internet praise. I should do it more for me......

writing, I want to become the best writer I can be, I don't want to be a novelist or anything like that. I just want to be really good at getting my thoughts out with words, I want to have an extensive vocabulary and be able to write on a whim and not have to rethink and edit before I have a final draft I am happy with.

routines, I have recently discovered that I CRAVE routine, I don't like change very much, unless it involves diamonds, chocolate, puppies, babies....okay, well..change doesn't really bother me THAT much, but I do really love my everyday boring routines, there is something spiritual about the repetition of a routine. Something that is so comforting and reassuring.

weather, I am VERY ready for it to be COLD COLD COLD again, I HATE the hot weather, like with a passion. I am ready for crisp, cozy autumn nights. I'm ready to smell leaves burning instead of hot dogs burning....

oh and just cuz i have to share another...

I'll be honest

I haven't been feelin' it....

I haven't been into scrapping/blogging for so long it seems, I feel like I have been doing  lot of my projects because I HAVE to, because that is what is required of me. I have been feeling a little overwhelmed with life and the obligation to blog about interesting things. I feel like I haven't always been honest or completely forthright about my feelings about some subjects, because......well...I didn't want to offend anyone, or get hate mail, but I do/get all that anyway so, I am done with being something I am not, I want to share myself completely and I don't care if........ooooooh, it's on the web, cuz REALLY, who cares right!?!?......you know.....who cares what I eat for lunch, who cares what my favorite songs are, who cares what my latest inspiration is.....WHO CARES!?!??!...........I DO!!!! I feel like I have been blogging lately for the WRONG reasons, I feel like I have been all about the surface and I don't want to be THAT girl with THAT blog, you know?!?? I want to document my life for ME, I want to be able to look back on my blog and really be able to tell where I was in my life, not just what I was making or scrapping or listening too. Don't get me wrong, I love to include all that but not so surface.

I have a LOT of views that just never share on my blog, I edit myself and then feel like a sell out for doing so, I am not going to edit who I am anymore. And this really isn't an all-of-the-sudden exploration of my blog or my hobby, it's a culmination of a lot of things that have been happening behind the scenes in my real everyday life, things......again, that I don't share and I SHOULD!

For me blogging and really writing in general, is a way for me to work it out, work out all the clutter in my head and think more clearly, a way to put it in order and get it on paper so I can see where I have come from and where I am heading. I have always wanted my blog to be a daily thing, a daily journal entry about what is up with me, FOR ME.....but it hasn't been and I feel stupid for even having a blog, when I don't share the way I feel in my heart I should, make sense!?!?

I think I am turning a much need page in my life and I want to just quit with all the bullshit, I want nothing but REAL in my life. I want to blog about what I FEEL and create art about what I FEEL not just see, and not scrap just cause I like a picture, cause when you look at the bigger picture(and I want to do this more too( it doesn't matter in 10 years what I write or scrap about my meals or shoes, I want the true deep memories, I want the real. Yes, I know that the little things matter.....I AGREE 100%, but I want to dive in more and not be so one dimensional, like I feel I have been lately. I want to really feel like I expressed how each day........week......month.......year of my life has gone, I want to be able to FEEL it when I look back, I want what I put out there for the world to read to MEAN SOMETHING to me. I don't want to be able to skim over months of my blog cause nothing interesting was going on then, like when you skip over pages of a book to get to the good parts. I know that everyday there is something I am feeling or thinking that needs to be written down or developed into some kind of art. I KNOW that everyday there is more than just my latest favorite craft supply.  I KNOW THERE IS. I feel it. I feel the need to write it down to think it out, day by day, to figure it all out as I go, and know that I got that confusion or happiness or anger down on paper, I WILL REMEMBER WITH FEELING.

Some fun stuff I'm into right now...

bread & butter

living room floor

Janice Jong

Kate Bingaman Obsessive Consumption and The Public Design Center

Coffee Sweaters by Thinking Mama

Olive Green Bike Tote by andyeatsonlycandy

Reporter Style Eco Journals by heatherlea

iPod Sock by EcoKate

Hand Job: A Catalog of Type

      

right now

So I thought it would be fun to show you some photos of what's up with me right now...

right now I'm super excited about the materials used in my new online class...I think my favorite line of scrapbooking papers is the new Sassafras Lass. AND those Jenni Bowlin tickets, LOVE!

right now I'm SO enjoying wrapping up in my new afghan my mom crocheted for me. YES....spring is here, but it's still pretty chilly out.

right now I am so grateful that I get to look at this little face everyday, she is my best friend...

right now I am enjoying this magazine more than any other, there is SO much inspiration in this little puppy.

right now these two pages are inspiration for one of my online classes coming in May, it's gonna be SO much fun!

right now this is what my creative space looks like.....A MESS, but oddly inspiring...